вЂњJingle BellsвЂќ shares something remarkable with another insufferable Christmas tune, вЂњThe Twelve Days of Christmas,вЂќ in that itвЂ™s not only ripe for parody and silly performances, but has had several notable ones. If anyone remembers the first Christmas episode of The Simpsons-you know, the one where Homer becomes a shopping mall Santa after not getting his Christmas bonus-Bart famously sings his own rendition of the tune at the start of the episode. Remember when you were a kid and you got in trouble during a band recital for singing вЂњJingle Bells, Batman SmellsвЂќ during the holiday chorus? No, just me? Last year, YouTube extraordinaire Tom Scott dissected the origins of that holiday parody tune last year to unexpected-and hilarious-effect. So pour yourself a glass of eggnog, gather around the holiday ornamentation of your choice, and crank up the volume as we welcome you, dear readers, to the Tedium Christmas Novelty Song Spectacular. With 2021 wrapping up as yet another unspeakable nightmare, we thought it might be a good time to revisit one of our favorite topics: Christmas novelty songs. The interdisciplinary yuletide extravaganza was fun, but was conspicuously absent in 2020 (we talked about The Gingerbread Man instead).

Ernie, Andrew, and I all contributed four items apiece to create a wonderful holiday project of which weвЂ™re all quite proud. In 2019, we embarked on a somewhat ambitious project: The Twelve Things of Tedium. Today in Tedium: ItвЂ™s that time of year again, folks! As the weather changes and the calendar pages start falling off rapidly, another holiday season is upon us. Maybe after you listen, youвЂ™ll feel the same way. Listen to a sample of GreyвЂ™s version here.Hey all, Ernie here with the master of novelty music himself, David Buck, who brings us an analysis of the kind of music he wants under his Christmas tree this year. ItвЂ™s as hard to digest as Aunt AgnesвЂ™ fruitcake. He was in his early 20s when he recorded it, but bizarrely heвЂ™s imitating a child, milking every treacly line - вЂњIвЂ™ll catch him like a fly/ And IвЂ™ll have him for Easter and the Fourth of JulyвЂќ - for all itвЂ™s worth.

That same year, Joel Grey of Cabaret fame recorded the song for the Majar label, and itвЂ™s indisputably worse. Peggy King cut вЂњGlueвЂќ for Columbia in 1954, and itвЂ™s cute and sweet, but thatвЂ™s not the version I have in mind. вЂњIвЂ™m Gonna Put Some Glue вЂRound the Christmas Tree (So Santa Claus Will Stick Around All Year)вЂќ Eddie Pola, who wrote the tune with Robert Colby in 1954, also co-wrote another terrible song, вЂњItвЂ™s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year,вЂќ which youвЂ™ll probably hear even more often at the mall than вЂњA Holly Jolly Christmas,вЂќ and itвЂ™s almost as banal. My choice for all-time worst Christmas song:ДЎ. It doesnвЂ™t even mention Santa Claus, for crying out loud!Дrumroll, please. Nothing about giving or anything else we love about Christmas. So why is it on this list? Because it was the first Christmas hit thatвЂ™s only about the presents. Yes, it was an instant smash in 1958, and deservedly soвЂ¦highly original and splendidly produced and promoted. вЂњThe Chipmunk Song (Christmas DonвЂ™t Be Late)вЂќ вЂ“ David Seville The great revelation from the little guttersnipe on lead vocals: вЂњI realized that even old St. But if you insist on knowing more, this 1998 release is done in the style of an elementary-school sing-along. вЂњI Farted on SantaвЂ™s Lap (Now Christmas Is Gonna Stink for Me)вЂќ вЂ“ The Little Stinkers But somewhere between вЂњMommy WonвЂ™t You Buy a Baby Brother (or Sister for Me)вЂќ (1950) and this 1954 shout-out to a fellow RCA artist just past his prime, funny turned into saccharine.ДЈ. вЂњI Want Eddie Fisher for ChristmasвЂќ вЂ“ Spike JonesДЄfter achieving Christmas novelty song nirvana with вЂњAll I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth,вЂќ which was both cute and funny, Spike put out lots more Christmas songs. Sure, itвЂ™s nice to hear BurlвЂ™s burly baritone booming from those little speakers in department store ceilings that normally spew sonic wallpaper, but oh, by golly, those lyrics wouldnвЂ™t pass muster for a 29 cent greeting card.Д¤. Here, from bad to worst, are the good doctorвЂ™s picks for crappiest Christmas songs of all time: Demento - whose syndicated radio show played for 35 years and still webcasts every weekend at - to pick the five songs to avoid once the yule log starts burning and the egg nog starts flowing. There is a lot of bad Christmas music out there, and rather than submit to the pain of sifting through all of the stinky holiday songs out there, Billboard enlisted self-described вЂњmad musicвЂќ expert Dr.

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